That's my hand. The henna has totally faded away, now. But that's what it looked like a couple of Friday nights ago at a Mehndi/Karaoke pre-wedding party in Seattle.

The daughter of friends in Washington (who are Christian) fell in love with the son of Indian immigrants who live in New Jersey (Hindu) and this party was the first event of a weekend of wedding not only the couple but the families together. Across three days everybody ate. Everybody danced. A good percentage of everybody sang. And by Sunday noon, everybody felt like family and it was hard to say goodbye.

I co-officiated the ceremony on Saturday with a Hindu priest and we went back and forth between the two traditions. The meaning behind our various rituals were remarkably similar. Though he and I represented very different faith traditions, the rituals our traditions use for marking a union are far more reflective of our cultures than our faiths.

A US Christian ceremony is heavily word-based - the officiant talks, the couple speaks vows, friends often bring readings. I think of it as head or thinking based. The action-oriented rituals are simple ones - walking down the aisle by a parent, exchanging of rings, and the kiss at the end...and a unity candle when it's used.

The Hindu rituals (and the priest used a VERY pared down version of the ceremony), had verbal components, but were all active and sensory based- sight, sound, taste, touch, scent. Garlands are exchanged to declare intent. Food is shared with the couple by the parents, denoting their support of the union. The couple makes their vows by taking seven steps forward together - with each step symbolizing a vow.

It was quite a wedding. When was the last time you got to see the groom ride up on a bejeweled horse?

Teilhard de Chardin

Above all, trust in the slow work of God.

We are all, quite naturally,

impatient in everything to reach the end

without delay.

We should like to skip

the intermediate stages.

We are impatient of being

on the way to something unknown,

something new, and yet it is the law of all progress

that is made by passing through

some stages of instability—

and that it may take a very long time.

And so I think it is with you.

Your ideas mature gradually—

let them grow, let them shape themselves,

without undue haste.

Don’t try to force them on,

as though you could be today what time

(that is to say, grace and circumstances

acting on your own good will)

will make you tomorrow.

Only God could say what this new spirit

gradually forming within you will be.

Give our Lord the benefit of believing

that his hand is leading you and accept the

anxiety of feeling yourself in suspense

and incomplete.

Pierre Teilhard de Chardin,

Patient Trust in Ourselves and in the Slow Work of God